Redefining Success: What to Do When Your Career Goals Change

Natalie Kowasic
Dec 11, 2025
3 min read

There is a moment in every meaningful career when you realize the goal you were chasing no longer aligns with the person you are becoming.

Research in adult development, including findings from the Harvard Study of Adult Development (https://www.adultdevelopmentstudy.org/), shows that identity naturally shifts across your lifespan as your values, experiences, and priorities change.

When your identity evolves, your definition of success evolves with it. Psychology research consistently shows that adaptability is one of the strongest predictors of long term satisfaction and wellbeing. You are not lost. You are growing.

This post explores the emotional intelligence behind shifting your career goals and how to redefine success in a way that matches your current season of life.

Key Takeaways

• Career goals shift as you evolve, not because you failed.

• Emotional intelligence helps you navigate discomfort with clarity and self-leadership.

• Research shows that self-reflection and emotional regulation support healthier goal changes.

• Success becomes more sustainable when you define it based on your current season of life.

When Goals Change, Identity Expands

A career shift feels emotional because it involves identity. The American Psychological Association (https://www.apa.org/monitor/2013/02/rumination) notes that goals become part of how we see ourselves, so changing them can feel destabilizing for a moment.

Identity research published in the Journal of Personality (https://doi.org/10.1111/jopy.12594) also shows that people who allow themselves to update their self-concept report higher life satisfaction and lower emotional distress.

This process is not failure. It is expansion. You are letting your identity become more aligned with who you are now.

Release the Fear of Letting People Down

A major emotional block in any career transition is the fear of disappointing others. Self Determination Theory, developed by Deci and Ryan (https://www.selfdeterminationtheory.org/), shows that when your choices are driven by external expectations, you experience burnout and lower motivation.

When you make decisions from internal values rather than others’ approval, your performance, resilience, and wellbeing increase (https://www.selfdeterminationtheory.org/application-educational/).

Success must be defined from the inside out, not the outside in.

Grieve the Vision You Outgrew

You are allowed to grieve the goals that no longer fit you. A 2019 study in Motivation and Emotion (https://doi.org/10.1007/s11031-019-09772-4) found that letting go of a long term goal activates emotional responses similar to grief because your brain formed attachments to that imagined future.

Grieving does not mean the change is wrong. It means the chapter mattered. Without acknowledging the emotional loss, you may fall into rumination, which research from Yale psychologist Susan Nolen Hoeksema (https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev-clinpsy-050212-185559) shows is linked to higher stress and diminished confidence.

Feel the ending so you can move into the beginning.

Redefine Success Based on Your Current Season

Success is not static. It changes with your life circumstances, identity, and values. Research on career adaptability in the Journal of Vocational Behavior (https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jvb.2019.103344) shows that individuals who update their definition of success to match their current season experience greater resilience, confidence, and satisfaction.

You do not need to stick to a definition of success created by a past version of yourself.

Ask yourself:

What matters to me in this season?
What does healthy success look like for me right now?
What do I want to feel more of each day?

The answers will guide you toward a more aligned direction.

Create Space for Your New Direction

Neuroscience research has found that the brain increases plasticity when you engage in self reflection and take small aligned actions. The Journal of Neuroscience (https://www.jneurosci.org/content/38/11/2631) reports that intentional behavioral shifts, even small ones, begin rewiring neural pathways that support long term change.

This is why experimenting, imagining new ideas, or trying small projects brings more clarity than overthinking. Creating space does not require a full plan. It requires one honest next step.

Final Reflection

Redefining your career goals is not a setback. It is an act of emotional intelligence. It means you are listening to yourself instead of forcing yourself into outdated expectations. You are expanding, not retreating. You are choosing alignment over pressure. There is nothing more powerful or mature than that.

You are not starting over. You are starting aligned.